Permanent memory
by chrino
Summary: Yugi wants to honour his friend, and wants to do so in a permanent way. Rated M to be sure. First FanFic


Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, nor the characters and the original story. The only things that are mine, is the plot of this story, and the other characters that aren't of the original set.**Permanent Memory**

Yugi made a nervous sigh as he turned a corner and stepped lightly down the street to his destination. Today something big was about to happen. Today, something would, in a sense, change Yugi forever. He had thought about it for a while now, and after a lot of saving and persuasion (or whining) on his grandfather, he had finally come to the day when he was ready. Well, he thought he was ready. This was a big step for him emotionally, and, well, physically. But he would go though with it, no matter what. He already had permission from his grandfather, so he wouldn't feel guilty for it. Yes, he was 20 years old and thus of age, but he felt better to have his grandfathers permission. It made him feel more at ease, and not going behind his back because he was afraid that his grandfather wouldn't approve. After all, it _had_ taken Yugi a good two months to convince his grandfather that this was something he really wanted.

He glanced at his watch. His appointment was at noon. He was early, he knew, but he couldn't sit at home and wait. He was anxious and nervous and excited and happy and sad, all at the same time. Yugi didn't know how to handle it. He hadn't been able to distract himself, not even with duel monsters, so he'd left. Figured the air would do him some good.

Apparently, it hadn't. Right now his thoughts were a complete mess and he could hardly control them. He stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, and to will his thoughts and emotions aside for the time being.

Continuing down the road Yugi realised that he was close to his destination and walked a bit faster. He wanted to slow down but didn't for some reason. Oh well, better start early so it would be over with.

Finally arriving, he took a moment to gather his will to go inside. The place looked rather plain, with big open windows with a sign that said Empire. He knew the place was everything but plain. Taking another deep breath, he stepped inside.

The place was as nice as he remembered. It was open and colourful, one wall covered in mirrors and the other with pictures. Pictures of persons, of religious meanings and the occult, of cute things and cool things. Everything in different colours, shapes and sizes. Every single motive you could ever imagine. Yugi was there to get one. But his was a more unique design. He'd had it special made for him so it would be the way he wanted it. 'This is it', he thought. 'No turning back'.

At the counter in the store there stood a man. He looked completely normal in sneakers, jeans and T-shirt, working on something that looked like a drawing. He looked up when Yugi stepped in, and gave him a wide grin.

"Hi there. Yugi, was it? Just wait a mo'. She's gettin' ready. Y'know, girl stuff, makeup and whatever."

"Right, 'cause I'm so the feminine type."

A girl roughly Yugi's height stood in the doorway on Yugi's left, just beside the counter. She also gave him a wide toothy grin, and seemed happy to see him.

"Hi'ya, Yugi, you ready?"

"As ready as I will ever be, I suppose."

"All right. Just come inside and sit down. You're in good hands."

"Says you. I'm tellin' y', kid, she's goin' to molest you."

"The only one I'm going to molest is my girlfriend. Wait, I don't have one, so it doesn't matter." She pointed a threatening finger at her co-worker. "And if you say another word, I swear you'll be neutered by the time you wake up from your daily nap."

"Says you."

"Damn straight. Well, lets get to it, shall we?"

----------

"Okay, I'm going to take the first line. Ready?"

Yugi nodded, and a sharp and brief pain made itself clear at the edge of his right shoulder. He felt it as a sting, so he felt that he would be able to go through with it.

"That was okay?"

"Yes."

"All right, let's continue then."

The pain was continuos now, and started to spread in a wider area, little by little. The buzzing sound wasn't so loud, seeing as the radio was on.

"Like I said, if the pain is getting to you, we'll stop and finish later."

Kichiko seemed to take his silence as a go and continued her work while Yugi got lost in his thought for a moment as a song of Bon Jovi played on the radio.

It ain't no fun in lying down to sleep

_And there ain't no secrets left for me to keep_

_I wish the stars up in the sky_

_Would all just call in sick_

_And the clouds would take the moon out on some oneway trip_

_I drove all night down streets that wouldn't bend_

_But somehow they drove me back here once again_

_To the place I lost at love and the place I lost my soul_

_I wish I'd just burned down this place that we called home_

_It would all have been so easy_

_if you'd only made me cry_

_And told me how you're leaving me_

_to some organ grinder's lullaby_

_But it's hard, so hard_

_It tearing out my heart_

_Hey it's hard, letting you go_

_Now the sky, it shines a different kind of blue_

_And the neighbour's dog don't bark like he used to_

_Well – me these days _

_I just miss you – it's the nights that I go insane_

_Unless you're coming back, _

_for me, that's one thing I know that won't change_

'_Cause it's hard, it's so hard_

_it's tearing out my heart_

'_cause it's hard letting you go_

"The song," he murmured, "it's sad."

"Yeah, sorry about that," the girl chuckled. "I have a tendency to fall for songs that are sad, melancholy, or just plain depressing. I really like the music, and the way the artist sings, but when I listen to the lyrics, it's just, well, sad. Way to go me, huh? Hey, I can switch CD if you like? Maybe put on the radio?"

"No, it's okay," Yugi said. "I kind of feel for sad songs right now."

"Does that have something to do with your motive?"

"Yes, it does."

"With this person, Atem?"

Yugi cleared his throat to rid the starting lump. He hadn't cried for a long time now, but he kept his tears.

"Yes."

"He's dead, then? Oh, if you don't want to answer, don't," she said before he had the chance to answer. "Sometimes I spew out questions faster than you can answer the question from yesterday. I'm very chatty, and very curious. Shame on me, huh?"

Yugi couldn't help but laugh. He knew she was a joker, but she was also serious and sincere, and easy to talk to. He knew that from the day they met.

_Now some tarot card shark said I'd draw you a heart_

_and we'll find you somebody else new_

_But I've made my last trip to those carnival lips_

_when I bet all that I have on you_

_It's hard, it's hard, it's hard, so hard_

_It's hard letting you go_

_Oh it's hard, so hard, it's tearing out my heart_

_It's hard letting you go_

"It's okay. Really. I think I need to clear some air anyway. Or rather, my thoughts."

Kichiko said nothing to this, but steadily kept on.

_It's been five thousand hours_

_Two hundred days_

_I'm closer to winning_

_Since you ran away_

_It's hard letting you go_

_It's hard, so hard _

_It's hard, so hard_

_Too hard letting you go_

_Letting you go_

"You know, when you came in two days ago, I'd never thought you'd be 20 years, but in my years here I've learned that looks can deceive. That was when I saw your eyes. They had this knowledge to them, that of someone who had been through a lot. You just seemed so much more mature then what people would expect."

"Yeah, I hear that a lot. That I look like I'm 14-15, maybe 16 at most."

She chuckled. "Well, you're cute no matter the age. You are growing, and I see that your face is maturing, not just your eyes. You'll be a nice, handsome man in no time. Wait and see."

Yugi turned his face a little so Kichiko wouldn't see him blush.

"I thought you liked girls," Yugi said,

"Of course! I love girls! But I never said that I didn't like men too. Though, when it comes to me and clothing, and attitude, I am so like a dude. The guys here like it; they just don't admit it."

They sat in silence as the CD droned on with all the sad melodies, about break-ups, lost ones and lost friendships, and being alone. Yugi had never liked being alone. He still did, but now, being with his friends didn't really seem to make him as happy as he used to be. He had lost a very important part of himself that couldn't be replaced, and he hadn't known how to deal with it.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure, shoot."

Yugi hesitated. "Well, I'm not so sure if you're going to believe me."

"Why, are we talking about the supernatural? No worries there, because I pretty much believe in everything between Heaven and Earth, even Hell. Even if I don't believe you, I'm sure it will help to talk about it anyway. Right?"

Yugi turned a little to see a trusting smile on her face. She didn't seem sceptical to whatever she was about to hear. She'd heard lots of stories, he was sure, but this might be a bit overboard.

"Well, okay. Atem is, um, was, my partner. We shared a body."

The buzzing stopped. "Come again?" she said perplexed.

"Um, well, that is, oh, how am I going to explain this?"

"How about you take it from the start?" she said, her voice calm, the tone indicating for him to take the time he needed, while she started on her work again. Yugi didn't really feel the pain anymore, as he thought back to when it all had started, lost in old memories.

"When I was eight years old, my grandpa gave me a puzzle. He told me that the one who solved it would have a wish come true. I worked on it for eight years before I was finally able to solve it. It was the shape of a pyramid up-side-down. But when I solved it, something strange happened. You see, there was a soul living inside the puzzle. He had been locked inside it for more than three thousand years. So then, my body contained two souls, his and mine. I called him the other me, because he looked so much like me, only older and more mature. At first I didn't accept him, because he scared me. He took over my mind and body so there where times when I didn't understand what had happened. Over time we came to know each other, and worked together as partners."

Yugi took a shuddering breath to calm down. He had a lump in his throat and he really felt like crying. He had barely started, but he felt like he couldn't go on, the pain in his heart was so great. But he had to talk. He needed to open up and accept it.

He told about how he'd got to know the spirit better, and of the happenings with Kaiba, when he'd build Death T inside his amusement park to duel Yugi for the title King of Games; of the time on Duellist Kingdom, when he had to save his grandfather and Jonouchi had participated to get money for his sisters surgery, and that was the time when he and the spirit started to work together; of Battle City, which was only a plot for Kaiba to get the Egyptian God cards for his own, and where Yugi had finally learned about his partners origin and his destiny; of the Ritual for Atem to go into the Afterlife, leaving no details out. Yugi had no idea how long he'd talked, but by now his throat was raw. He felt raw, but also healed. Like a very heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders. He still felt sad, but kind of happy too, for having shared it with someone that wasn't his friends of his grandfather. They already knew it all, so he felt like it was pointless to talk to them about his feelings about it all.

The buzzing stopped again, and Kichiko took him roughly by his shoulder and made him sit up and turn to her. The serious and angry face made him start.

"Don't say things like that. Just because they already know the story, doesn't mean they know how you feel. You're so down you feel like nothing will help, right? You came to me to get this (she stroked Yugi's back) and that alone says a lot. It may have been a while since Atem went back to the afterlife, but you're clearly not healed. It is not pointless to talk about your feelings. They can't read your feelings; they wouldn't know how you are doing if you're not talking to them." The angry face fell, and was replaced with a sad, pained one. "Don't do the same mistake I have, and keep it all to yourself. It will pain you to no end until you'll eventually have an emotional breakdown. Talk to your friends and family, share it with them, share your own experience, and let them know. You'll feel so much better than just talking to a stranger like me."

Yugi had just gaped at her, being embarrassed that he'd spoken out loud like that, but then the tears welled up, and he couldn't contain them any longer. He burst into tears and cried heavily. Kichiko just put her arms around him and rocked him back and forth, not saying anything. She didn't have to; she'd already got through to him. It took a long time for Yugi to calm down, but everytime he tried to, he ended up crying more, so he just kept on crying until he did. Kichiko had been stroking his back all the time, still not saying anything.

After that, he'd told for Kichiko to continue. She had told him that she probably shouldn't, seeing as Yugi had had such an emotional breakdown, but seeing Yugi's determined face made her pick up where she left, but not before taking out the CD and letting the radio decide which songs to play.

Yugi felt numb, and hardly felt the pain on his back at all. He didn't think and didn't feel; he only concentrated on the needle on his back, feeling its movements, every twist and turn. After a while Kichiko cleared her throat.

"Would you like something to drink?"

Yugi nodded, and saw Kichiko leaving the room. She was soon back with two bottles of water. They drank in silence, letting Yugi get a good look at the motives on her arms. On her right arm there was a dragon on her upper arm and a snake at her lower arm, its long body twinned around her whole lower arm and hooking up with the dragons tail. On her other arm she had a very nice and decorative one with lots of flowers and four hummingbirds. On the lower arm was a portrait on a woman on the underside, just like a photograph, it looked so real. On the other side was a long old-fashioned dagger with gemstones and many beautiful details. There was also dripping blood from it, making it look like it had been used to stab someone.

"Do you like my tattoos, since you're staring?"

Yugi blushed and diverted his eyes from her. He hadn't meant to stare like that. "Sorry," he mumbled. She just smiled.

"It's okay, people do all the time, but mostly in disgust though. It's not exactly the best country to have tattoos in, Japan. But they are starting to accept it. Barely."

She sat down beside Yugi who moved to lie down. "I have done more or less half the colouring, so I'm just gonna pick up where I left. That is, if you want to continue. If not, we'll find another day to finish."

"No, I want to continue. I want to finish it today. I don't care if I won't be able to sleep on my back for the next week. I've been sitting here for a while already, and if you're not busy, then please finish it."

She nodded and grabbed her tool, after checking up with her colleague that there wasn't any appointment the next hours.

They didn't say anything for a little while, but then Yugi's curiosity got to him.

"Can you tell me about your tattoos?"

Her hand stopped moving for a second or two, like she hesitated, before sighing.

"Yeah, I guess I can do that. The dragon and snake is my own drawing; actually, they are all my drawings. I'd always wanted the dragon and the snake on my arm, I just hadn't found the perfect time to do so. The flowers and the hummingbirds were something the others wanted to give me. The woman is my mother and the dagger was the one that killed her."

She let out another sigh, almost painfully, and stopped talking for a moment, but never stopped the needle. Yugi couldn't help but gasp at what she'd said. Why had she wanted the murder-weapon that killed her own mother as a motive?

"My life has never been much to talk about. I was a loner as a kid, had a lot of trouble making friends because I was so silent and shy. I blame it on my father. He was nothing but a drunk old badger with no concern for anyone but himself. It's not that I was treated badly, or at least, too badly. My mother took most of his anger on herself. Mom never worried about herself; her only concern was me. She wanted me to have a good life, despite growing up with that so-called father of mine.

Anyway, the beeline is that my family suffered, one way or another. One day my mom had had enough, and wanted to take me away from him. Claim a divorce and get full custody of me. She wasn't about to let him rule over our lives more than necessary. She'd had enough. Or so she told me. At any rate, she was going to tell that man of her plans, then we would move as soon as I got home from school that day."

Her voice was starting to quiver, and she stopped her work. Yugi heard her put the small machine on the table, and a small creak of her chair as she had probably switched position. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw her leaned back in the chair, arms crossed and eyes tightly shut. She almost seemed to be heaving for breath, but was obviously trying to calm down. He sat up and waited for Kichiko to finish her tale. It had to be a pretty painful memory to reveal.

"I was, what, 12 years old when it happened? I had just started making friends, and mom and I were finally getting away from the man we'd called family, to make a new start, just the two of us. But – he wouldn't have it. I don't really know what happened before I came home that day: all I knew was that I heard them shouting and arguing, so I ran up to help my mom any way I could.

There was so much blood. My first thought was that there was so much blood. Why was there blood? That was when I realised that the blood was my mom's. My father was standing over her dying body, knife in his hand, covered in her blood. All I did was stand there. I was as petrified. I was frozen to the spot. I couldn't move. I didn't even know what to do.

My mom was dying, and I didn't do anything. I couldn't do anything. Before she took her last breath, she turned her head to me, and mouthed one word. _Run_. So I did. I ran away as fast as I could. I always did as she told me to, and if she felt it best for me to run, I'll run.

By the time I got home again, very late in the evening, everything looked the same. The room was clean, everything stood were they should. Nothing indicated that there had been a lethal struggle in the house. But I knew better. There was one thing that was different. Mom wasn't there. She was dead. I don't know what he did with her body after I left. I don't want to know either, to be honest.

But I did find the knife. For some reason I didn't want to believe that she was dead. I was in denial, as they say. I don't remember the reason, but I was roaming through the trash outside, and found the knife. I kept it. If my head had been clear, I would've gone to the police with the bloody knife. That alone would've started an investigation. I couldn't do it. Even later, much later, when I did understand the situation of keeping a murder-weapon in hiding, I couldn't. I wanted to get back at my father somehow, with my own hands.

I never did so, though. I stayed in his home, but had stopped acknowledging him as my father. I tolerated him, and he tolerated me.

Finished with high school, I moved out, and ended up here after a year or so. And here I've stayed.

You know, I've never told the guys this story," she said and glanced at Yugi, eyes full of tears that refused to fall. "Not even when I asked my boss to tattoo the dagger and my mother. They know it's my mum – even they couldn't fail to see the resemblance – but I just couldn't tell them. I've been working here for four years now. They deserve to know, they really do. They have been so supportive of me even when they didn't know what was wrong, and for that I am forever grateful. Just don't tell 'em I said that, I want to be the one."

A small smile finally came, still sad, but also a little happy. It looked like she had lifted a huge burden of her shoulder. 'Just like me,' Yugi thought. 'I've told my story, and now she'd told hers. We share more then I first thought.'

Yugi stretched out his hand to take Kichiko's. He squeezed it reassuringly and gave her a bright smile. She smiled back.

"How about you finish my tattoo?" he said.

"An absolutely fantastic idea," Kichiko said, picked up her tool as Yugi lied back down and let her continue her work on his back.

They didn't say anything during the next hour. There was no need. The colouring was finished in no time, and Yugi could finally get up and stretch his limbs, and walk over to the mirror to see the finished piece.

He gasped. It was better then he could've ever imagined. There on his back, were the Millennium Items, placed just like on the slab of memories; the necklace and the eye just below his neck; then came the puzzle, the ring and the scale. On the right side was the key, on the left the septer, so real it looked like it was printed on from a picture, that's how real it looked. The best part was what stood just below the puzzle in hieroglyphs: Atem. This was his tribute to a great partner and friend. This way he would always remember him, and remember all the adventures they had had together, and with their friends.

"Oh, my god, Kichiko. It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect." He walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She squeezed him back – around his neck, of course. "Thank you," he whispered thickly.

"You are very welcome. You are very brave. Come on, let's get it covered."

Kichiko applied more cream on the tattoo to keep it moist before covering it with plastic. The payment was fixed, the instructions on how to keep the tattoo nice and clean was given, and they were just having a few words before parting.

"Promise me that you are gonna come back and let me take a picture of it. It's a real masterpiece, after all. You really should be honoured," Kichiko said, winking. Yugi laughed.

"Sure, I'll be back. Promise. Oh, I just hope that grandpa likes it," Yugi said, a worried look on his face.

"You did tell me that he at least liked the idea behind the motive, so he should be okay with it. And he's had time to adjust to the idea. I believe you don't have anything to worry about."

That eased Yugi's mind greatly. He thanked her yet again for tattooing him.

"My pleasure. Oh, feel free to drop by if you wanna chat or something. I can always find some time for you."

"Thanks. I might just do that. Well, I'd better get going, I promised that I would help grandpa with chores today."

"All right. Just be careful."

"I will. Bye then."

Yugi waved as he walked out the door and headed home, a big smile on his face. His back did hurt still, but that was something he was willing to endure. He had got exactly what he wanted: A permanent memory.

Now he was going to face the future with a lifted head and higher spirits. Everything was as it should be. And nothing was going to bring him down.

----------

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Did'ya molest 'im?"

Slap!

"No," Kichiko said at she glared a little at her colleague, who rubbed the back of his head. "We had some healing to do."

"Healin', ey? An' waddya mean 'we'?"

"I'll tell you later."

Kichiko glanced to the door after Yugi, a smile gracing her lips.

"Ye used an awful lot o' time in there. Ye sure ye didn't – "

"Absolutely not. Let's just say that we had a lot to talk about."

"An' yer 'masterpiece' turned out good?"

"Hell, yeah. Better then good. It sure will help him heal his heart. Not that it wasn't healed already, but he just had to let go of a part of his past. That was what we talked about, our past. I'll tell you guys mine, someday. But, today is not the day."

"O' course. Whenever yer ready."

They stood in silence for a moment or two, and only glanced up when the others came blundering in the door, like they were nothing but a nuisance to ignore.

"I s'pose that ye'll be alright, then?"

"Oh, yeah. We will be fine. Just fine."

A/N: How exiting! My first published fanfiction story! (beam, beam) I am very pleased with the outcome of the story, especially as English is my second language.

I got the idea basically from Miami Ink and LA Ink. I really like watching the shows (those few times I can) and then it hit me. What if Yugi were to get a memorial-tattoo? I liked the idea and this is the outcome. I would really like to know what you readers thought of it, so – please review! ^^


End file.
